Baptism 5/17/2015

Today Seth and I decided we would visit Freedom Church for the first time. Everyone we have talked to that attends this church talks about how awesome it is and since we are kind of trying to find something that blends both our worship styles this seemed perfect.
So we meet at my house and drive over, although it would have been much easier to sleep in on this rainy Sunday.
First time guests at Freedom Church are "VIP" so we got a close parking spot, were escorted inside, and then filled out an info card and they gave us a little bag with a cup and some info about the church.
One thing we thought was funny as we approached the sanctuary we noticed a table with ear plugs, so we knew this was going to be a loud exciting experience. And it was. They played really upbeat music and it was extremely loud and it kind of had the rock concert feel with the lights and I think I noticed smoke? But everyone was so into the worship, which I loved and it totally prepared us for the service.
We were told that there had been like 160 new salvations within the last short time and so this weekend was actually starting a new series on baptism and they were having a HUGE baptism event after the service.
Pastor JR Lee preached a great sermon on the importance of baptism after salvation and it was just one of those moments where God was speaking directly to my heart. I had been sprinkled as a baby, but I have been feeling for a while that I needed to really be baptised since it was my decision to follow Christ it also needed to be my decision to be baptised. Seth had also been baptised previously but he said he was really young and he felt like he needed to do this today,
 Anything I could have thought of for reasons to not take that step today, Pastor JR assured me that everything was taken care of. He said they had a change of clothes for everyone, they had hair dryers and make up, they even had feminine products.... He had been praying for me and for God to take away any hesitation for the last several weeks and he didn't even know me. It was just a really awesome experience where God said you are somewhere new, a little out of your comfort zone, and I am totally going to sideswipe you right now but you just need to obey m. And I'm so glad I did!
So needless to say I was pleasantly surprised with our first visit and Seth and I definitely intend on going back next week!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Well friends, it is 2015 and I am going to do the thing that no one cares about....

The past couple years I made resolutions, and I was going to write blogs about my resolutions at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year. Turns out, I am not a very regular blogger.... But I really want to write this down so I can finally delete the note I have on my phone.

Honestly I am not sure which resolution belonged to which year (2013 or 2014). My phone says I originally wrote the note February 26, 2013 but I know I added to it last year.

Here goes...

Start Running (check, although I should probably put this on my resolutions for 2015, oops)

Do at least two 5ks

Do the color run- (signed up for this 5k but ended up not doing it due to scheduling conflict)

Get HOPE scholarship back- (check! super happy about this one and still have it)

Cook a meal at least once a month (I know this should not have to be a resolution, again oops)

Try the 21 day challenge (didn't happen, not even sure what this is anymore???)

Be more Christlike (in my opinion I honestly think this was achieved, but I will always strive for this)

Work on relationship with my brother (definitely happy to report that this relationship has done a 180)

Start a blog... :)

Get engaged...... :( hopefully 2015 is our year, right Seth?)

Monthly challenges (yea no)

So overall I think I did pretty okay. I haven't thought much about what my resolutions for this year should be. And honestly I don't really like to think of them as resolutions, because everyone forgets about this around February 1. Instead I like to think of them as ways to improve myself or things I would like to achieve that year. This year I would definitely like to make health a priority, would love to gain some more independence ( I start a new job this weekend!), and may even try to cook/clean more frequently. We will see :)

Are we really as accepting as we say we are?

So I was just on Facebook and read this:
http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/the-615/6296620/dolly-parton-talks-50-years-in-nashville-and-supporting-gay-fans?facebook_20141024
Basically an interview about why Dolly Parton supports her gay fans. I honestly only read one quote which was "I think everybody should be allowed to be who they are, and to love who they love. I don't think we should be judgmental. Lord, I've got enough problems of my own to pass judgment on someone else."

On the surface that's a really empowering statement and I totally agree. But the more I think about it, and I have thought about this topic a lot up to this moment, I am not sure that I agree 100%.

As most people know, I was raised in quite a conservative family with conservative values. At my school, at church, at home, in conversation, I was taught and I believed in the biblical form of marriage one man + one woman. I still do. And then I went to college. I made friends with people who were raised in a less conservative way, I even made friends with people in the LGBTQ community. I had major issues at first with even being comfortable around these people, but when it came down to it, I realized that they are people too and I might not agree with all of their decisions but I can still be a friend to them and show them God's love. Isn't that what Christianity is all about?

Anyways, through conversation with others and my own thoughts have led me to the same conclusion as Dolly Parton, I don't want anyone to ever feel like they have to be someone else because of me. But this got me thinking more, do the people who are pushing for equality among race or marriage rights, do they submit to the same mindset? I believe the answer is no. The biggest advocates for equality and justice and acceptance of everyone no matter how they feel or what they believe can be the most judgmental and hateful. This is only my opinion, and it is not true for everyone of course. But if you want to accept everyone, then that literally means that no matter who they are, what they are doing, what mindset they have toward society, you have to be accepting of it. I don't believe that liberals (people fighting for equality across the board) are accepting of everyone. They accept the ones they want (LGBTQ, etc.) and they want everyone else to think how they think. I am here to say that isn't how acceptance works. We don't get to tell people how to think or how to live or who they should like or dislike. The difference between people's mindset today and 20 or so years ago is that what is socially acceptable has flip flopped. It's no longer okay to not want to see two men kissing on tv but 20 years ago, even like 5 years ago that was unheard of. People do change, just like everything else, but forcing them to change defeats the whole purpose.

Racial Profiling and White Privilege

As I continue to hear about Ferguson, Mo events, I grow increasingly sad for the state of our country. I spend at least 50% of my time in my car listening to news radio. Usually Wsb (I think) but also some NPR. And while the hot topic has sort of drifted away from happenings in Ferguson, there are still people talking about it and comparing other stories to the Michael Brown story.
One piece of information I heard one day that just made me incredibly sad was that the news reporter had the opinion that whether or not Michael Brown was innocent or guilty, that the police officer was no way in hell going to get a fair trail and was basically going to be crucified for this incident. Just to keep the peace. Seriously?! That has to make your heart hurt for this man. Not only for this man but for our country. If we really have adopted this mentality that we need to do what will keep the people happy instead of what is ethical, moral, and constitutional, then our country has way bigger problems than "racial profiling".
This is the problem with a black president.
This is the problem with entitlement.
This is the problem with handouts and the welfare nation.
NEWSFLASH!!!! Michael Brown wasn't innocent! He had just committed a robbery! Your sweet unarmed Michael Brown was a criminal.

Now saying white privilege and racial profiling is the reason we are here today is a bunch of bologna and anyone with half a brain knows it. Yes, racial profiling is a thing. But Michael Brown wasn't racially profiled. He was approached after he had committed a crime! It stops being racial profiling when you are guilty!
Second Newsflash: black people aren't the first to ever be "racially profiled".
Discrimination is the reason we have The United States of America (granted that wasn't racial profiling). But the English got tired of being told how to live their lives, so they left. If you don't like something, don't try to blame someone else. I'm not saying get out of the country. But you can't crucify (literally) someone for doing the right thing because you feel it's unfair to you. Change what you do, not what others do.

My thoughts on Ferguson

I just read an article on Facebook about how the KKK is getting ready to enter Ferguson, Missouri. I read a similar article that the town officials in Ferguson weren't going to condone anything the KKK did. While I don't agree with the KKK's views, I don't see how officials could allow one group to stand up for their beliefs but not another. The article said they have come to help defend the shops that are owned by the white citizens of Ferguson and if the rioters and looters try to get by, they have come prepared with guns. I am not sure how extreme the KKK is in today's society but I kind of see it as a good thing that they are standing up for innocent people.

 For the most part, I have stayed silent on social media regarding my opinion on what is going on in Ferguson. I have liked some comments here and there and read different articles, but I haven't actually said anything. And you may not care what I have to say; in the grand-scheme of things my opinion doesn't really matter. But I like to think that I sort of represent the young adult Christian conservative group.

Now I have voiced my opinion in group settings. I've talked about this situation with family and friends. I've seen the news and read the articles. I like to know what's going on. 

Things are bad in Ferguson. I don't ever recall so much response for one incident. I have heard people say that all of this isn't just because of the Brown shooting, it's backlash for years of white on black police brutality.....

Here is my problem with that mentality, the police have a job to protect the community they also need to protect themselves, in order for them to be able to protect the community. When someone, no matter what color their skin is, becomes a risk to an officer or the community it is their job to get involved and make sure that person cannot hurt the officer, or anyone else. So when you live in a predominantly black community, you may have a lot of black citizens get arrested. That's not racism, that's just statistics. I have never seen or heard of any cop simply going up to someone, deciding they don't like them and shooting them to death. If you have and you can prove it to me that the cop was convicted of that crime then I will admit I was wrong. Cops won't even pull their gun out unless they since they are in immediate danger. They aren't going to shoot someone for no reason. This video is just one demonstration of police officers being in a very dangerous situation with a suspect. Warning: it is an actual shooting, may not be suitable for some viewers. The suspect appears to be surrendering and laying his weapon on the ground. What we can't see is the suspect actually has another gun in his pocket and he begins to pull it out. Luckily, the officer behind the suspect is able to see this and yells "GUN" which leads to shots being fired. 

I say all that to say, if you aren't literally right there in the middle of a situation, you do not know exactly what happened as it happened. You have to leave it to those involved who are in charge, which just happen to be the police, to do their jobs. When officers do something you like, such as  stopping a robbery or arresting a murderer, there is hardly praise from the community, because they are just doing their job. But when cops shoot a suspect, who may have been a robber or attempted to hurt or kill the cops... because he is your son or your neighbor, the family of the suspect and the community calls for some type of action (in this case they riot and loot in their own town)  to be taken on the cop; even though he was doing the same job!

If you don't know what happened because you weren't there then you don't get to to decide who was at fault, because you didn't see who did what or how they did it. So my opinion is, the cop made a judgment call, and for now I trust his judgment. The autopsies show that Brown was shot in the top of the head, which the pathologist said could only come about if he was lying down or charging the officer. It has also been reported that the officer had some severe injuries to his head. So whether Michael Brown was armed or not doesn't matter to a cop, because when they are pulling up on a suspect they don't know. He might have charged at that officer and could have pulled a weapon and injured him. They have to be prepared for anything.

In my opinion, there is a lot of ignorance in Ferguson right now. A lot of people are making this a "race" (ethnicity) issue. And there may be some police brutality going on, I know racism is still a very real part of today's society and I know officers aren't perfect and have the ability to make mistakes. But I believe a lot of people are wanting to act a certain way, they want to act "ghetto" and look "ghetto" and police officers who are trained to look for certain things may notice a group of black males that look like they are up to no good and stop and talk to them or something like that. If you don't want that stereotype cast upon yourself, rise above it. Stereotypes are based on truth. If there is a reason we look at black males with crooked hats and their pants at their ankles as up to no good it's usually because those are the ones we see on the news getting arrested for whatever. But it's the same for all ethnicities. Typically, if you look like you are up to no good then you probably are. How often do you see any body in the work place looking anything less than professional- nice, clean clothes, combed hair.... I just think if people were willing to take responsibility for their own actions instead of trying to blame everyone else for their problems (and I mean everyone not just Ferguson, Missouri residents) then this world would be a much better place. 

Catching Up

So.... it's definitely been almost a year since I last blogged, and that was only because I had to for school! oops.
When I started blogging I thought that this would be a good forum for me to speak freely, since I don't think many people would read it anyways, kind of like on online diary. I also thought I would like to start blogging now and keeping an account of the things that happen in my life so that as I get married and have children that I would have already had this as an established habit to write down the seemingly unimportant things that are actually what make life so great.
That was the idea.
But ya know, life happened. I thought about things that I would like to express my feelings on and I still have topics that I would like to "discuss", I just never got on my computer to write.
Anyways, a lot has happened over the past 10 months. Most seem insignificant because while a lot has changed, to the naked eye nothing has changed. I am still in school (my fourth year but not my senior year, yet!), I still live at home with my parents, and Seth and I are still together. So while mostly things are the same around here, there have been a lot of changes too! I feel like this year has been the year that I have done the most maturing. Although it may sound cliche, I really feel like I am truly starting to discover who I am. Everyday I grow more confident in my decision to enter the medical field as a nurse, although I am a little nervous about how everything is going to turn out with school. I feel like I am learning about myself constantly. I am learning about how much self control I have, which is a lot actually, what my character traits are, what I am good and bad at, and the type of people I need to have in my life to be the best person I can be. I am always trying to do something new to improve myself. Seth is probably so tired of me saying "I think I am going to try to do this" whatever this may be. We have joined a gym and are currently working on the best plan to cook at home so we are eating healthy meals and saving money. I started reading for pleasure. I never knew reading could be enjoyable! I am trying to help others more even if it goes unnoticed. I have also been making an effort to try and watch my attitude and words no matter what kind of mood I am in, which is truly #thestruggle.
Probably the most important thing that I have been learning this year is to really trust God. I am one that needs to know what's going on and when it's going to happen. So not knowing if I am going to school in the spring and if so where will I be going or when Seth and I will be able to support ourselves so that we don't have to rely so much on others anymore or why people are making what I consider to be extremely poor decisions over and over again despite seeking counsel from others; those are things I have learned that I can't control. I can't control time or another person. I can only control myself and live how I believe God calls me to live and try to enjoy every moment that has been given to me.
However, this is still a struggle for me. Sometimes I catch myself with a clenched jaw or grasping the steering wheel just a little too tight while I am thinking about something and just turning it over and over in my mind.
...................................................................................................................................................................
Enough of the deep stuff.
I am just having a good time in my 20s.
I am ready to be done with school and move on with my life!
I really hope these next two years fly by!

Life is a Highway

Life is like an ever winding road right now. There are hills where it seems like nothing could bring me down. Then, there are valleys, that seem like they never end and I just want to get out of these and go faster. There are also twists and turns that sometimes take me to unexpected places. No matter where the road takes me, I just keep going. Because what other choice do I have?

I just don't know if I am a good driver....